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“That’s when you know you’ve found somebody really special: you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence.” ~Pulp Fiction

Monday, December 27, 2010

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; That word is love." -Sophocles

It's been a while. Why, you may ask? Well, I fell in love.

It's hard to slam away at the keyboard when you don't have resentment/bitterness/heartbreak beating the keys. I have spent my entire life filling journals, notepads, blogs, etc. with ramblings on love and how much I needed it in my life. I have been told every cheerful "Just hang in there" or "You'll find it when you least expect it." But I do have to say, while being told my true love was just lost on the interstate, I never believed it. I had actually started to plan my life filled with little fat dogs and many hours in front of Days of Our Lives knitting afghans and sweaters for said dogs. But, all of a sudden, he was there.

I won't get into the mushy-gushy, lovey-dovey, hippy-dippy or any other two-word rhyme (I stole that line from him. I know, meant to be, right?) because it doesn't matter. All that matters is we have found each other.

I expected this to be more monumental. Actually, I expected to die a painful death days before meeting him because that's just how Murphy's Law plays it's game in my life. But in all actuality, it was like I found some Xanax in my couch cushions. My brain has calmed and I have soothed.

Now, it's all about keeping him around. I have never lived with a any suitor before and I am at a constant battle with myself not to be the wet blanket that I normally am. But, this time it's a little bit different. This time it isn't about what I'm doing wrong or what impending doom is destined, it's just about being us.

Who would have thought there would be a day that I didn't have a ten paragraph rant on the male ability to crush me with a single sentence? Now, I have a beautiful man who watches me fall asleep, who's rendition of raunchy songs makes me laugh until I almost pee my pants, who lets me be the crazy worrier/lunatic that I am, who makes fun of me when I turn the faucet on in the bathroom every time I pee, who doesn't care that I can't cook/clean or who tells me that I'm his best friend.

This moment is something I just need to remember. This moment in my life is just a feeling that I will treasure when I'm 90 years old looking back on the gems in my life. No matter the outcome, this past couple months has changed who I am and will change my path for the rest of my life.

Love's a funny thing...


Anonymous said...

I really notice how you brain has calmed, and you have soothed! I love it!

Rae Ellen said...

I swear I have to read this like once a month, because I love it so! Aunt Rae