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“That’s when you know you’ve found somebody really special: you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence.” ~Pulp Fiction

Monday, February 15, 2010

Single White Female Looking for LTR

It's the day after Valentine's Day. Surprisingly enough, I'm not licking my wounds today. Granted, it was hard not to notice V-Day looming on my Marilyn Monroe calendar since February 15th, 2009, but I made it out alive. I actually made it out without crying. Which, for me, is blog-worthy. I mean, it isn't like I didn't piss and moan about the up-coming puke-fest for weeks (or months) prior. I even made last-ditch efforts to scrounge up some kind of man on Craigslist. Now, a few weeks and several stomach-heaving interactions with online social outcasts later, I've regained my senses.

For me, I feel like Valentine's Day is like giving every single girl a scarlet letter. If you don't have tulips, Seroogy's or diamonds there's something wrong with you. It even crossed my mind (for a little more than a millisecond) to send flowers to myself. But, then, I daydreamed about how that could turn into a trainwreck I might never recover from. It would be just my luck that, after I sit at work scouring for the 1-800-FLOWERS van all day, they finally arrive and mistakenly the card is signed "from Ashley Berken" instead of "Brett Favre" or even "Mr. Obama." I just don't think the few shreds of dignity I have would be left after that shitshow.

But, this year it was a little different. I did end up at a bar at the end of the day (I mean, I'm not completely cured), but instead of taking shots and making out with 40-year-old Indian florists (mostly for the free flowers) I just went home after a couple drinks. I even made it through the last half of Time Traveler's Wife without tying a noose, or at least reaching for a Kleenex.

Could it be that after 23 years scrambling for men I actually don't give two church farts about my relationship status? Well, I seem to care one church fart since I'm blogging about it, but I digress...

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